During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good
manners, asked her students the following Question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice
young lady, how would you tell Her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?" Sherman said, "I am Sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word
bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"
"I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very Dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
The teacher fainted
What's on your holiday wishlist?
Preferably under my tree with nothing but a bow on...
Hey... a girl can dream, can't she???
Guess I'll have to settle for this
Show us your favorite winter activity.
heeheehee........
Show us your dream winter escape.
What is your daily commute like? What is the weirdest thing you've seen on that commute?
Submitted by E.
It takes me a grand total of 3 minutes to get to work. Not much time to see anything at all!
About the most interesting thing I get to see is roadkill! Living in south Louisiana that really isn't weird. It's not unusual to see an opposum or racoon dead in the middle of the road. I did see a dead mouse in the driveway the other morning while going to my car, just lying there... but that was more funny than weird!
Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes, Mommy' to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat in the living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always,
MOM...
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.
*Santa has asked that this gets passed on to all the mommies you know
If you could perform alongside any artist (actor, dancer, musician, etc.), who would it be, and what would you perform?
Submitted by Kristin.
I'd be Johnny Depp's love interest in a romantic movie...duh!!
What's your musical horoscope? (Put your player on shuffle and write down the first 10 songs that come up.)
1) Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
2) Hot! Hot! Hot! - The Cure
3) Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park
4) Seven Years - Nora Jones
5) Sunrise - Nora Jones
6) Brand New Love - Deadsy
7) Fabulous - High School Musical 2 (yeah, the kids have music on here too!)
8) Over It - Katherine McPhee
9) Switchback - Celldweller
10) Catch - The Cure
on Cooties PSA